Waiting For Nothing
by DragonKaw
Summary: Mangaverse: In which Hotaru ponders the nature of her impossible existence, what with being trapped in a time rift and all. That is, until sixteen-year-old Ruka unwittingly pops in. (For those who wanted more closure. Spoilers for the end of the manga. Don't say I didn't warn you.)


**So after text-spamming my friend and screaming at the computer screen at GA's ending, I squeezed this out. Just to add to the many opinions on the ending: I can live with it, but Gakuen Alice had the potential for something **_**so**_** much better. I hope that the varying amounts of disappointment the ending made will only help inspire people to write more.**

**Of course, there's always AU's. Or Animeverse fics. I love those too. 3**

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Hotaru slept. There wasn't much else to do in this quiet, empty place.

A time rift, she'd decided; a blip in time and space that bent reality just enough for a human to survive indefinitely. That's what she was in. It was destiny's punishment: for trying to tamper with it, for _succeeding_ in tampering with it, she was doomed to sit here in its belly for who-knew-how-long.

As for what fate's belly looked like? Well, it didn't look like an actual stomach, thankfully. Usually it was blank white, like an empty canvas, but sometimes that canvas was suddenly painted on. Oftentimes it was like she was taking an acid trip, but sometimes it was even pleasant to watch. Her favorite 'paintings' by far were the ones of the sky. Blue was a soothing color, after all. To her pleasure, they were quite common.

It wasn't all bad, really. Of course, there was the fact that he had no idea how long she'd been stuck in there. She'd guess by her age, but she had no mirrors. Besides, she wasn't even sure if she had aged. She never had to eat, drink, or… do anything, really.

So Hotaru slept. Which brought her back to the beginning of the thought process.

She'd only been awake for a few weeks or so, in total, which was a long time when you have nothing to do. Her periods of sleep could have been anywhere from days to weeks to months, not that it mattered.

Hotaru preferred sleeping over staying awake. Truthfully, it hurt to be awake, to think about her friends and her memories, to think about everything she had sacrificed for their sake. To think about how many months, years, even _decades_ it might have been since she last saw them. She wondered if she would ever see them again, afterlife or otherwise.

Though she wasn't really counting on "otherwise".

She missed the texture of metal. She was starting to forget where the gadgets and thingamabobs were wedged between the crevices of her room. She missed her room. She missed crab meat, how it tasted, how it felt in her belly. She couldn't feel hunger anymore, but she couldn't feel the satisfaction of fullness, either. She missed being full.

She missed Mikan. She missed how her hair felt. She missed her bright smiles and big, bloated tears. She missed her happiness, her words, her warmth. She missed how annoying and high-pitched her voice was. Hotaru missed her annoyingness in general.

She wondered how Mikan was doing now. There was no doubt that she had remembered Alice Academy at some point in her life; the bonds she formed in those two years were too strong to be forgotten forever. Besides, Natsume would never let her go that easily.

She wondered what Mikan would look like when she was sixteen, twenty, middle-aged, older. She could be dead by now, for all Hotaru knew. She'd never admit it, but it killed her inside not to know anything about her best friend's whereabouts.

And then there was everybody else. She missed her classmates, and had even made a game out of guessing their futures. Had Yuu Tobita grown out of his timidness? Did he still wear glasses? Hotaru imagined Sumire would have joined the police force; she would beat a dog in tracking any day. Or maybe she had followed her mother and became a famous hair stylist. Were Nonoko and Anna still best friends? Did they miss her? Did any of them miss her?

Did Mikan miss her? That was unquestionable, but Hotaru couldn't help but wonder. As the years pass, people forget. People move on. Hotaru was torn between hoping they had, and wishing they hadn't.

What about Natsume? Did he go after Mikan after their memories were wiped, as Hotaru expected? How were they now? Had they gotten back together? Had they broken up? Hotaru wouldn't put it past them to be the kind of teenage couple that constantly broke up, then got together again. They were both just so stubborn, so hot-headed, that it was sometimes impossible for them _not_ to fight.

What about Ruka?

A small smile traced Hotaru's face. She expected a good life for him. He'd probably gotten over Mikan at some point, and after that, married a nice girl. Somebody kind and cheery. Similar to Mikan, which meant someone completely different from Hotaru. They'd probably only start dating after two years of his floundering. Maybe one, if he had a rival worthy of Natsume. They'd either get married after a year… or eight. After all, Ruka was a hopeless romantic; if he loved the girl enough, he'd marry her as soon as possible. But he could also be pretty cautious, especially after losing Mikan to Natsume, so maybe he'd want to make sure his feelings were true before committing himself.

Hotaru sighed. It was all rather pointless, thinking about things that could be and could have been. After all, she was stuck here, with nothing to do and no one-

_Bzbbzzzzzuuuuuoooooo-_ "AHHHHHHHHH!"

Hotaru turned around rather slowly; she hadn't moved much in her time here, so she was used to taking things at her own pace.

…until she saw Ruka Nogi face planting right behind her.

She had turned just in time to see a portal, swirling with all kinds of colors, close into nonexistence. Ruka groaned softly from his spot on the ground. Hotaru instantly took note of his, well, everything: his clothing, his age, his stature. She didn't have to see his face to see he was about sixteen, not to mention he was wearing the Academy's high school uniform.

"…Nogi?" she said.

His head snapped up, and his body followed. She wanted to snicker at his wide eyes and flushed face. Soon he was sitting up, right in front of her, close enough for her to lean forward and pinch his cheeks.

And so, she did.

"Bi~sho~nen," she cooed.

Ruka flushed an impressive shade of red. "I'm not! I am _not_ a bishonen!"

"What a reflex," Hotaru commented dryly, letting go of his face. "I'm sure you've been called that a lot for the past four or so years."

The shock still hadn't melted off his face. "F-four, yeah. How'd you know it was four?"

"You look about sixteen, so I guessed. Speaking of which, how old do I look?"

He looked down… down… down at her. When did this boy get so ridiculously tall? "The same as when I last saw you."

"So I'm still twelve? Well, I guess that isn't too bad. Better than-"

"Wait no!" Ruka cut in. "You look older now-I take that back, you're still twelve-no, fourteen now?"

"Indecisive as ever, Nogi."

"No, it keeps changing. You keep changing. It's like time can't decide on you." He tilted his head. "Has it?"

Hotaru shrugged. "It seems pretty content on keeping me in here, but I don't know why it let you in. Maybe you got lucky. Maybe it tired of me sitting in it. Care to explain?"

"I was scouting time rifts," Ruka said. "We're all looking for you, Imai."

As much as it pained her to admit it, that warmed her heart. Too much, in fact. The organ wasn't used to swelling up, so it was understandable that Hotaru felt like it was going to burst.

"Or actually, we _were_ looking for you." He grinned… dare she say it… cheekily? "You know, Imai, after hearing Sakura throw your name around so much, I feel like I should too. Is it alright if I call you Hotaru?"

Suddenly, Hotaru wanted to laugh. _Hard._

"You've gotten braver, Nogi," she commented.

He brightened, and Hotaru saw the child was still in his eyes. "Have I really?" he asked.

"Hmm… it must be the hormones."

It was fun, making Ruka Nogi blush.

"So, _Ruka,_" she drew out the name, "how is my idiot doing after four years without me?"

"Pretty well, actually."

Ouch.

"I mean, I mean… after getting her memories wiped, she told us she'd cried a lot after hearing something had happened to you. They couldn't tell her what exactly, but she knew there was a chance she wouldn't see you ever again. She'd made new friends at school, but none as close as you." Ruka chuckled. "She cried a lot more after remembering everything, but then she got really determined to find you. She joined in with all our efforts to find you, with Nodacchi's help of course, and… well, here I am now."

"Do you have a way of getting out?" Hotaru asked, slightly worried.

"Yeah." He pulled back his sleeve, showing her a metal contraption. A very familiar-looking metal contraption…

"That's one of my inventions," Hotaru realized. "The signal-specific long-distance communicator I was working on before everything happened."

"That's right. They hired as many Invention Alices as they could to get together and finish this. Each one also uses one of Nodacchi's Alice Stones, so we can communicate over timespace and all. I'm not exactly sure of how it works," Ruka admitted. He set down his arm. "But I can contact them soon. First, is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"Everything," said Hotaru.

And so he told her it all. The reformation of the Academy, after the elementary school principal had been exiled. The petitions and pleas to the government to allow more freedom for Alice Academy's students. How it took four years in order to get permission to allow Mikan to return. How she had remembered everything, and how she Natsume had gotten back together, the two a stronger pair than ever before. How everyone was doing; how her parents were alive and well… how they had found Subaru one year before now.

"He was in a time rift like yours," said Ruka. "That's why I found you now instead of later, I guess. Because we started searching in areas like where he was trapped. It still took a long time, though."

"A year is a long time," Hotaru agreed, "but four years is longer."

"Speaking of that, what have you been doing here?"

She explained the story briefly, if only because there wasn't much to tell. She'd woken up in this time rift, bubble… whichever it was called, and that was about it. She assured him she hadn't snapped or gone insane at any point, and that she was just sleeping most of the time.

Ruka was incredulous. "Sleeping? For months at a time?"

"It seems like that. What, did my brother not?"

"We thought he was in some kind of… I don't know, coma. When he finally woke up, he said he couldn't recall anything past getting separated from you while you were in the middle of messing up fate."

They sat there in a thoughtful silence for some time.

"I wonder if my memories of what the world is like match up with reality," Hotaru wondered out loud. "I wonder if anyone remember me."

"Of course they do. If we forgot about you, why would we work so hard just to find you?" Ruka paused. "You sound… sentimental. I don't think I've ever heard you be sentimental before."

"You've never seen or heard me be a lot of things," said Hotaru.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Until all the drama happened, most of my memories of you were blackmailing me and chasing me down for pictures. Oh yeah, and that one time you kissed Sakura." He gazed at her meaningfully.

"Are you trying to confirm that I'm straight?" Hotaru asked.

"…maybe."

"Ruka, I can't see why this concerns you. You're going to be eighteen in two years. If I haven't aged once we get out of here, I'll still be jailbait by then."

"Actually, I'm not sure. You keep on changing age, so there's no telling what you'll be when you get out of here. It's really weird, but only when I focus on it. Maybe you'll get out of here and still be twelve, but you might be sixteen, too. Or you could be something in the middle. Who knows-wait, WHAT!?" Ruka spluttered. "Are you suggesting-what do you-where did that-gah!"

And Hotaru laughed. She laughed more than she'd laughed in four years, maybe even longer. She laughed and laughed until she couldn't laugh anymore, until Ruka's weirded-out stare had dissolved into a look of understanding, until all she could muster was a few chuckles. Somehow in the process she had ended up drooping forward, the top of her head pressed against his chest, and his arm hanging awkwardly over her back in some kind of half-hug.

It'd been a while since Hotaru had smelled anything. Maybe it was just more sensitive because of that, but she would be the first to say that Ruka needed to lay off on the cologne.

That brought up another thought. Hotaru drew back, smiling lazily at Ruka. It was just hitting her now. Four years. Ruka had really grown. She wondered how all the others looked and acted. How they changed. But then again, the students of Alice Academy had strong characters, so perhaps they hadn't changed much, past perhaps emotionally maturing.

Once Ruka had gotten over his shock (Hotaru Imai! _Smiling!_), he returned the grin. "So Hotaru, are you ready to go home?"

"Hmm… well, two more things."

"Anything," Ruka said earnestly.

"First of all, you have to promise me to fill me in on anything. I will be expecting you to answer my questions thoroughly and accurately."

"U-um, are you sure you should be asking me and not someone like Yuu To-"

"Second, do you have a girlfriend?"

Ruka blinked. "What? Um, no, honestly my feelings for Sakura weren't entirely platonic until recently, but what does that have to do with anythi-"

"Good. Don't get one."

He turned rosy pink. "Why-"

"Press the signal button, Ruka. I'm ready to go home."

He stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes confused, but filled with a gentle warmth Hotaru had come to associate him with. Then a smile crept onto his face. He pulled back his sleeves and pushed the button.

"Ruka Nogi speaking. I've found her."

There was a long silence, and for a worrying moment Hotaru thought that the communicator was broken or nobody was there. Then…

"EeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWHAAAAAT!? HOTARU!? RUKA-PYON, YOU FOUND HOTARU!?"

Hotaru chuckled as Mikan screamed on the other end of the communicator. Her voice was as high-pitched and annoying as ever.

"I HEARD THAT! THAT WAS HOTARU-HOTARU, CAN YOU HEAR ME!?"

"Mikan," she said simply.

"HOTARU!" Mikan screamed. Very loudly, if that wasn't already obvious. "NATSUME, NATSUME! RUKA-PYON FOUND HOTARU!"

Natsume's unmistakable voice fizzed into existence. "What? Ruka, you found-"

"Yes," Ruka laughed.

"Turn off the damn communicator before your Alice stone runs out!"

Ruka grinned. "Are you sure you have my-"

"Yes, I have your signal! Turn off the damn communicator!"

He switched it off. "Now, I don't know how exactly these time things work, so I can't tell how long it'll take until they-"

Right before he could finish the sentence, the sound of rushing wind filled the area. Like a sun and a snowstorm combined, a white, swirling vortex clawed its way into existence, bathing both Ruka and Hotaru in blinding light. Ruka turned around, beaming, while Hotaru watched as Mikan and Natsume burst from the portal.

It shrunk to a bearable size, but didn't disappear like Ruka's portal did. She could see a bright white gleam filtering from the wrist of one of Natsume's… gloves? So he wore gloves now. It looked a little strange on him, but Hotaru could get used to it. He had grown even taller than Ruka, but he was nowhere near as much of a pretty boy.

And Mikan… well, she'd certainly grown up. She'd gotten taller, more shapely. She had even sprouted a chest, which Hotaru was sure Natsume appreciated. It was strange to see her without a child's chubbiness, or her customary pigtails, for that matter. She was still as plain as ever, of course, if you didn't count the sheer amount of glee she radiated. Hotaru could feel it sinking into her pores already, and she hadn't even seen the idiot in four years.

"Hotaru," Mikan stammered. "Hotaru… Hotaru!"

Meanwhile, Natsume squinted. "What the hell? Are you twelve or sixteen?"

"Don't think about too much," Hotaru suggested.

"Hotaru… Hotaru… Hotaru!" Mikan continued to babble.

Hotaru turned her head towards Mikan, a rare, wide smile on her face.

"That's my name, idiot. Don't wear it out."

And as Hotaru hugged her best friend for the first time in four years, she couldn't help but think that maybe-just maybe-fate had decided it could be kind to her once more.

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**x_x Hope you enjoyed my on-the-spot headcanon. Tell me if there's mistakes and such.**

**Real quick gushing moment (SPOILER): Natsume's first reaction to seeing Mikan again was priceless. Probably my favorite part of the whole ending. "Good job Polka, you actually grew some. *unhesitant grope*" Poor girl, hahaha.**

**Scales readers: I'm not giving up on the story; in fact I have the next couple of chapters written, but I'm pretty iffy about posting them. They still feel premature, and I'm thinking that until I finish writing the story entirely, I won't post any. I suppose you could say I'm on a haitus… but if there's anyone still reading/waiting, do tell me.**


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